Stating the Obvious (Obviously)

Nothing is worse for readers than writers who state the obvious.  This flaw in writing is called faulty repetition.  It means that a writer uses unnecessary repetition of words or unnecessary explanation that adds no value or clarity to the writing.  Readers don't need the obvious explained to them and it's insulting to readers to do so.  When looking for faulty repetition in your writing, it's helpful to think of it in terms of four basic elements of sentence structure:  verbs, nouns, adverbs and adjectives.  Here are some ways to spot faulty repetition in these four areas:

• Verbs:  When describing action, readers need only the basics.  They don't need for you to spell out every motion in order to grasp the overall action.  Example:  She took a chair at the table, seating herself in upright position for the meeting.  Taking a chair at the table and seating herself mean the same thing and are unnecessarily repetitious.  Saying that she seated herself in upright position is unnecessary explanation.  Readers know that sitting in a chair involves upright positioning.  A better way to write this sentence would be:  She took a chair at the table, steeling herself for the meeting.  This gives readers all the information they need about the action she took and also gives readers insight into her feelings about the meeting.  She is steeling herself, apparently because she is dreading it.  Keeping your verb usage lean and direct will convey the necessary information without burdening readers with unnecessary explanation.

• Nouns:  Nouns that describe the same thing are repetitious and unnecessary.  Example:  The neurosurgeon is a doctor who excels in his specialty.  Every neurosurgeon is a doctor (at least we hope so), so the extra noun in the phrase is a doctor is unnecessary.  Readers know neurosurgeons are doctors.  A better way to write this sentence would be to simply eliminate the repetitious wording:  The neurosurgeon excels in his specialty.  This is concise, to the point, and gives readers all the information they need without piling on extra nouns.  Looking for nouns that say the same thing in a different way but do not add any clarity to your writing will help you slim down and sharpen your writing.

• Adverbs:  Writers often get carried away in descriptive writing and tend to think that, when describing, more is better.  But the opposite is true.  Example:  She was crazily and wildly out of control during the argument.  The adverbs crazily and wildly, in this context, mean the same thing and are unnecessarily repetitious.  There is no need to repeat the same description with a different word.  Instead, writers should work to find the one word that best describes what they want to portray and let that word carry the weight.  In fact, in this example, the phrase out of control is in itself repetitive because someone who acts crazily or wildly is usually out of control.  Adverbs should be used sparingly and only when they are absolutely necessary to convey the message.  A better description of this person would be:  She gestured wildly as she argued.  This cleans up the description by eliminating repetitive descriptive adverbs and makes judicious use of an adverb that is necessary to describe her gestures.  This gives a concise, clear picture to readers without unnecessary verbiage.

• Adjectives:   As with adverbs, writers often use too many adjectives in descriptive writing, again thinking that more is better.  Example:  The sultry room was hot and stifling for the students.  This sentence is rife with repetitious description in that all three adjectives - sultry, hot and stifling - mean the same thing.  Readers get bogged down in this type of description and quickly lose interest.  They don't need to be told three different ways that the temperature in the room was uncomfortable.  This kind of repetition also weighs down the momentum of your writing and dulls its impact.  A better way to describe the room would be:  The sultry room closed in on the students.  This limits the description to one adjective that best describes the room and also conveys the element of suffocation that results.  This leaner description gives readers everything they need to know about the conditions of the room and adds edge to the writing.  The room is closing in on the students and readers want to know what happens next.  This creates momentum.  

Stating the obvious can bog down your writing and make it less effective.  It also insults readers' intelligence and causes them to lose interest.  Readers want writers to give them the bones and they will fill in the flesh.  The thrill of reading is figuring out, discovering, and coming to conclusions 

on their own.  Give your readers what they want and need by avoiding unnecessary repetition and explanation and keeping your description lean, clear and essential.  Trim the obvious from your writing and the results will be pleasingly obvious to your readers.